Train

Metro wishes you a safe and happy holiday.

Sports.

In my return to my hometown, I found it important that I go to a few basketball games. This worked out amazingly well as ASU was playing a matinee against USC Upstate and the Suns were playing the same evening against the Oklahoma City Thunder. It was to be a doubleheader of hoops. I was able to go back to campus and around the school that so finely educated me. I was able to check in on a few of the old places and experience the area with fresh eyes. Like all other days, it was to be marvelous, if I allowed it to be.

I get caught up in the past a whole lot. I worry about things that I have done. I worry about things that I have not done. I worry about my dreams. I worry about my legacy. I worry about how other people think of me. I pretty much worry about everything just to distract me.

In the morning, I hiked again. My foot was hurting badly from a splinter that I never took out. I don’t think that it can kill me, but thinking of this splinter made me think of the Andrew Bird song in which the Giant of Illinois was killed by a bloody foot. I hope that is not foreshadowing.

The hike was fantastic. The weather took a turn to become cooler and this caused my hands to numb up on the way down the mountain. It was a very interesting experience to be hiking down a mountain, sweating, music on, body exhausted and then I looked down to see my hands a beat red and difficult to move. It was a true moment that I realized that I was alive again.

I made it down the mountain safely. The sun was out; it was a picture perfect day. I checked my cell phone to find out I had no messages. No one wanted to talk to me which was equal parts an understanding that life is truly a solo experience and that it is a good thing to never have to worry about being somewhere at all times.

I parked in the lot by Mill Avenue that had viewed me at my best and my worst. This lot had been where I parked for pretty much any event. This lot watched me drive drunk way too many times. This lot listened to my cell phone conversations when I fell in Love and when I fell the despair of loss. This lot and I had a long history together. It always stayed by my side and it was good to see it again.

I had lunch at Bison Witches and walked down Veteran’s Way to Wells Fargo Arena. I entered the arena just in time for the brand new light show. The Jumbotron in the stadium was brand new as were signs around the stadium. It felt like a new place even though I had attended way too many events there. This building was the last ASU building I was in as it was the location in which I graduated and was awarded my Masters Degree.

I found seats within the student section. One thing had not changed since my last visit; there were still very few people in the stands. But, I did find a few holdovers from when I was a consistent presence at the arena. My friend from high school was still sitting with his family and he was clad in full ASU paraphernalia. The leaders of the student section were located in their normal seats and attempting to instruct the thin section on what cheers to execute to improve the spirit of the team. I spoke with my Master’s chair person as he was taking in the game with his daughter. It is a pretty great ego boost when you can tell someone that has studied film his entire life and taught you a majority of what you know of the art, that you have worked with one of the greatest directors in the history of American cinema and have his cellphone number. That made me smile and allowed for another realization, oh my God, I am a pretty amazing person and have already succeeded in so many ways.

The game was fairly uneventful. Fans cheered on dunks and three point baskets. People stood for T-shirts and men stared at the cheerleaders. I watched as a guy tried to pick up on a pair of women in front of me to only watch them ignore him as they manipulated their cell phones. Moments later, they laughed and pointed at the man behind his back. These are the little reminders that I was back at ASU.

Game one was in the books and the Devils won. Next mission was Suns game. This one would be with company.

When you worry about things, when you abuse your mind with the doubts of failing, you will fail. If you worry about getting a ticket, you’ll end up getting a ticket at some point. If you worry yourself with failing a class, you will fail that class. If you worry about not getting a job, you will not get the job. It is a cycle. Whatever it is that you don’t want, you will get. Whatever it is that you do want, you will never get. See, life will kill you when you use the words want and need. If you want something, don’t say you want it, go get it. If you need something, think of what you have, think of what you’ve needed in the past and remember how unfulfilling it ended up being.

Take life as it comes. Take life without having any expectations. If you want something, get it, try it, do it. You will never know if you really want it until you have had it. Don’t worry about what you may lose or may have had. If it means anything to you, it will not be going anywhere.

Ok, that felt a little preachy. I guess it is the environment I am in being back home. I am suffocated by the wants and needs of everyone, without the actions to accomplish them. As I said on film, “Life is a mushroom trip. You can make it a good trip by being happy. Or, you can make it a bad trip by worrying about everything.” Choose the good script, it will be so much more fun.

My friend arrived at my brothers house and we left. We drove to Tempe to leave the car and take the lightrail. It was a good feeling to get back on some public transportation and not have to worry about driving. We arrived at the stadium with some time to spare. Dinner and drinks were had. A ticket was scalped at a price below face value. A homeless man and a homed man were having an argument about life choices as we waited at the crosswalk in front of the stadium. As with any argument, it was confusing on why it started, but the main point could be understood that the homeless man was hoping to get some change, the homed man was upset that he was being pestered. We crossed the street and I would understand it to end with the homed man apologizing and the two of them going to coffee to play chess and talk about world politics. This was not the case, but we all have dreams.

The seats were in the upper deck, but were nice. In normal circumstances they would have been bad seats, but with the price that was paid as well as the first NBA game that I had been to in a while, they were fantastic. Our group was rooting for the Thunder over the Suns as they were the Underdog. Also, the Thunder had James Harden who went to ASU, Kevin Durant who went to UT and Jeff Green who went to Georgetown. There were many themes that caused this choice on team.

The game was very competitive and it ended with a Thunder victory. Our group sat and talked strategy the entire game. We spoke about why certain things were happening. We analyzed every element of the game down to how many towels Steve Nash had wrapped around his body.

A majority of the crowd was obvious Suns fans. They were upset with the poor play of their team. They made excuses on the way out and spoke of bad fouls called by the officials. Luck was a word that was thrown around by many different people wearing skin tight Hill and Stoudemaire jerseys. It felt good to be back inside of a sporting event.

The trip on the lightrail home was interesting as everyone was depressed. Everyone looked defeated and let down. A few fans started a chant for the Cardinals citing that they are the only true team left in town. A few others spoke on the manner of firing a coach and how a few players should not have been traded. All in all, everyone had a reason for why the team lost and everyone was already looking forward to the next distraction.

Sitting on the plastic chair and breathing in the recycled air, I realized how much I had changed. This entire day felt like I was looking through a portal into a life I used to lead. It felt like the Christmas Carol. It was a view into an alternate reality that I led at one point and would have continued if I had not moved. From wearing ASU gear head to toe and micro-managing every action of the team and being hyper-critical even if they win. To, getting emotionally invested in the outcome of a sport that provides very little of lives happiness.

I found this discovery on a train. I was looking out at the city that I grew up in as it flew by with lights on in the few businesses still making money. I glanced over everyone on the train and the long faces seemed to stare right back at me. I felt like I was above it. I felt like this is not what living is all about. My eyes settled on two, young African American kids sitting the row in front of me. They had smiles on their faces. They had joy in their eyes. They looked to be brothers and had just been to their first professional basketball game. They wore knock off jerseys purchased at a thrift store as the tag was still showing on the shirt label. It was funny to see the most joy on that train was on the faces of the people with the least amount of wealth. They were just happy to be alive. They were the way we all used to be.

Sports provide a very amazing distraction from life. It is full of flashy lights and temporary release. It is beautiful to watch and easy to follow. It is the perfect drug for a society upset with the view in the mirror.

I found this out, but I still love sports. Does that mean that I know my fate as a fan, or that I have not found a better drug yet? Either way, sports will not be going anywhere, but you can.

Moral: The teams in which I was rooting one my basketball double header. The matter of things don’t change, but you do as a person. Remove the emotion of worrying and the words want, can’t won’t from your vocabulary to find the key to happiness.