Home is Where the Happiness is.

Home is where the happiness is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZqzUeH8raA&feature=related

Breath in.

Exhale.

Repeat.

Slow down.

It has been a year since living really took hold. I have loved. I have hated. I have loved again. I have grown. I have challenged. I have drunk. I have thought. And thought. And thought.

So many times I ramble on with this very deep message. This discovery that is so unique that it challenges the status quo of the entire society.

Ok, maybe not. But to me, it is a big deal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF7fCDxCYEQ

I recently traveled to the land of the lost to catch up with family and friends. What I discovered is how similar we all are. I could go into this great detail on how my best friends are now married. One is about to be the world’s greatest dad and the other is riding the wave and enjoying the trip.

I could ramble on about how Phoenix is no different from San Antonio. The same people that love either of those cities are amazing people that I hold close to my heart. Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.

I could rant and rave on how there are televisions in front of every seat on an airplane or how many people were complaining of their weight as hot dogs were entering face holes.

I could get really pissed off with people driving everywhere and how much time is spent analyzing situations we have never witnessed. I could start dropping f-bombs and be pretentious with how awesome I am not to watch TV.

I will not swear as I made a promise to Mrs. B and I know Charlie will not approve. No more mustache so hopefully on my next visit to Carlsbad, I will not scare him under the table.

I could touch on how much fun it was to sit around, drink beer and play poker with the spirit of my youth. The same hopes and dreams shared around the table as the stories grew new Acts with each telling and the beer in which we snobbishly drank increased in price.

I could talk about a night of skee ball, a mechanical mouse, tailgating outside of Trader Joe’s and finding a Bit ‘O Britain a long way from home, but it would bore you.

I could talk about smoking hair at a club off Sunset, butcher knife stabbings at your local Target or the 37 times “I Love LA” was cranked up as the car was filled with children pretending to be of adult age.

These are the links that are in our past. Each of these moments happened because there was the first risk. Maybe it was by a timid boy on a basketball court. A common link was found because of a sports team. The paths of these two will forever be connected because of that first word. I can go through every first moment in which I met each of these people. I remember what was said, what was the first thought and how I loved and desired to have these people in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYCzDhaRV60

Have you ever thought about the role that you play in the life of someone that is not your own?

This past year has shown me this. I started the last twelve months with another piece of paper on the wall. I shifted 1,500 miles away from everything that was holding me back. I discovered what happens when immaturity wins and beauty is taken for granted. I had dreams found and books with answers opened themselves for me to discover.

But, see there was a flaw in the design. What I found was not any new information. The truths and answers were the same as in the past. There must have been a mistake. There was no parade or holiday.

What I did find is that we are what we put in. We are only as strong as we allow ourselves to be and we will always be right. If we are pissed off, we will find pissed off people to share our evening with. We will drink a few six packs, judge all that we see and attempt to sleep with a pounding headache from cheap booze and lonely desires.

If we are happy we will share that energy with all around us. We will enjoy traffic with a smile on our face and chat about literature. We will be open to change and want to have long walks in circles as the air we breath has never tasted so sweet.

The world has become a contrast of styles. It is a constant competition and we are always fighting. We want to be happy all the time. When we are not happy, we need to find something/someone to blame it on and focus hatred in that direction. When we are happy, we are not happy enough or have to indulge in substances to keep the doubts at bay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI48KUXr6VY

I am in awe of those who do what I write. It is easy to judge from a room full of Love and a computer screen as I wear a smile on my face. It is easy to speak of the miseries of life when everything is black. It is easy to type mush when everything is white. The tough part is the grey area. That is where our lives happen. That is where the poker games with friends happen. That is where the relationships break-ups happen. That is where the look in the mirror happens and the question of was it all worth it happens.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4hBQ3PMR7M&feature=related

Hell yeah.

No need for words after that. Let it soak and go do something to change the world.

Garner State Park

Garner State Park

Better known as the GSP. I have become a whore for Acronyms. Better known as a WFA.

Lost Maples Café – Utopia, TX

“Outclave. … Outclave; that’s not even a word.”

“I found an outclave on the mountain to meditate.”

“It’s not a word.”

“It is too.”

“I’m looking that up when we get back.”

“It should be.”

Santa Rita St.

The street in which this entire journey began. A place of dreams and cats. Broken glass and questioned motives.

Camping spot number 90 – Concan, TX

“That is a fake tree.”

“I think it’s there.”

“Look at it.”

“I am.”

“It’s fake.”

“Did you not just tell me to look at it?”

“Yes.”

“Then how is it fake?”

“It’s too beautiful to be real.”

Highway 281 – Blanco, TX

“Schweaty Ball Towel.”

“That is the –“

“Genius.”

Lost Maples Café – Utopia, TX

“What would you recommend?”

“Chicken Fried Steak.”

“Next.”

“Fried chicken.”

“How about something not friend.”

“Um, …”

“I’ll try the steak.”

Highway 290 – Dripping Springs, TX

“I don’t think I am ever having kids.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“I am entirely too selfish for it.”

“No need to defend your decision to me.”

“I mean, I am fucked up alone. I feel like I would already be putting my kid at a disadvantage. I am a terrible boyfriend, how the hell would I be a good father?”

Camp Spot Number 90 – Concan, TX

“How good is your eyesight?”

“As good as yours.”

“You wear glasses?”

“Hence being as good as yours.”

“There’s a satellite up there.”

“Where?”

“You gotta find it on your own.”

Highway 281 – Bullverde, TX

“That would never work.”

“It’s all about marketing.”

“It’ll be way too hot.”

“You are not in charge of marketing. You can create the business plan.”

“No one will pay money to sleep in a stagecoach.”

“Never doubt the lack of intelligence with the American people.”

Lost Maples Café – Utopia, TX

“Have you looked at the wall?”

“I have.”

“Any thought.”

“It adds to the ambiance.”

“Are they aware that they are offensive?”

“I’m not offended, are you?”

“I guess not.”

Rock Outclave – Concan, TX

When you Love something; give it away. You can not protect it. Allow it to become what it is meant to be.

It is like a fresh morning or a blind date.

They are amazing not because of what is expected to happen; but because of possibilities.

Meditation is given to mute the distracting thoughts and provide an understanding of a reasonable way to live. For, if we were left to our own vices, anarchy on the self would be the byproduct.

We are our own worst enemy. Opposites attract because by the time everything is figured out about each other, it is too late to retreat.

Whatever happens, remember, we are going to be alright. We always are.

Highway 83 – Kerrville, TX

“Egyptian Cotton.”

“Corn bread muffins for breakfast.”

“Acoustic guitar player with a Stetson.”

“A longhorn on the ranch.”

“Star gazing at night and nature walks during the day.”

“Miniature golf course.”

“It’ll be a boutique, nature experience.”

“If we build it; huppies will come.”

Camping Spot Number 90 – Concan, TX

“I’ve heard it’s like horseshoes.”

“I used to play that a lot in prison.” Chase said.

“I’ve never played.”

“I was there a while.” Chase said.

“You’ve never played bocce?”

“You could probably kill someone with one of these balls.” Chase said.

“I’ll go first.”

Rock Outclave – Concan, TX

Life can never be what it was. There is no way to feel the exact same ever again. A song can provide a sorrow, but on a second listen can inspire. No matter how terrible it may seem it is always better then it was. We have grown so much intelligence in simply surviving. As the distractions mount, don’t lose yourself. We spend so much time trying to fix our flaws that we lose who we are. You can never be loved if you hate the moment. If everyday is constructed around Love it will escape. Once we find Love it feels like a struggle to keep it above the water. We fight as how could someone Love us when we feel so incomplete? We shield ourselves from challenge. We fear the future. The longer we attempt to halt progress, the more destructive we become. It is the desire of the heart to keep everything fresh in the past. Life is always perfect. There is felt to be one thing out of place. If only this one thing is found or comes back. I am ready and desire it now. That thought process will murder your spirit and worse, your heart. Once you integrate something from your past into your present the variables shift. Baggage, emotions, trials come with any new addition or subtraction. This is not to say that it is impossible, simply, you cannot expect everything to be the same when your mind has moved onto falling in Love with a different version of itself. Just get me that new car, house, TV, shirt, movie, trip, person, job … If only they could see me now. I’m ready! I, think? Listen to an album linked with an emotion. Does it bring your mind back to a different time or do you translate it to your current state of mind?

Enjoy.

Camping Spot Number 90 – Concan, TX

“You have to get the Patty Melt.” Chase said.

“At Lost Maples Café?”

“Yeah, we can go with you for dinner.” Chase said.

“Sounds good.”

“It cured my heroin addiction.” Chase said.

“Wow.”

“It’s amazing.” Chase said.

“I’m excited.”

“So, are you guys married?” Chase said.

Highway 83 – Vanderpool, TX

“All we need is a critic from the New York Times to give us a good review.”

“That’s like the Pope minting a church.”

“People will come from everywhere. They will already have to like it.”

“They’d update their Facebook pages.”

“If they give bad remarks, we can belittle them.”

“It’ll be like high school all over again.”

Market St. – Leakey, TX

“They have their Halloween costumes on.”

“You are one of them.”

“But I am aware of how it looks.”

“It’s being a bad ass.”

“It’s being a middle aged white guy.”

“Wild Hogs?”

“Travel around with your buddies on a bike and be a weekend rogue.”

“It’s a way of life.”

“It’s like being hippie and living in San Antonio.”

“All we need is to get the Schweaty Ball Towel to infiltrate the Harley culture and we will be millionaires.”

“They do have a lot of sweat dripping from the balls.”

Camping Spot Number 90 – Concan, TX

“Do you want to go half on some bars?” Chase said.

“It’s your turn.”

“What do I do again?” Chase said.

“You’ve been playing for a half hour.”

“My back is killing me.” Chase said.

“We can stop playing.”

“It’s ok, it’s just acting up. I’m supposed to have a cane.” Chase said.

“I’ll go.”

“About a year ago, I was hit by a car going 55 and dragged. It was on purpose. He was trying to kill me.” Chase said.

Lost Maples Café – Utopia, TX

“Can I get you anything else?”

“How are your milkshakes?”

“Good if I make them.”

“Will you make me one?”

“Are you ordering one?”

“Only if you make it.”

“You’ll just have to take a chance.”

Camping Spot Number 90 – Concan, TX

“We are one of only three Radiohead cover bands. There is one in Spain, New Jersey and us.” Chase said.

“Huh.”

“Ok Kid A. That’s our name.” Chase said.

“Clever.”

“We’ll play for you later. We need to go get some supplies.” Chase said.

“See ya later.”

“We’ll play. Promise.” Chase said.

Lost Maples Café – Utopia, TX

“Any dessert for you?” She said.

“Pecan pie.”

“Ice cream?” She said.

“No thanks.”

“You have to get the ice cream.”

“I don’t want ice cream.”

“Get the ice cream.”

“No.”

“Don’t judge him, Let him get what he wants.” She said.

Sammy’s – Castroville, TX

“Are you from Arizona?” She said.

“I am. I’m heading back next week.”

“Good luck.” She said.

“Thanks?”

“I heard it’s like a war zone.” She said.

“That’s probably a bit exaggerated.”

“Have you been watching it on TV. It looks like Iraq.” She said.

“I don’t have a TV.”

“You should really get one.” She said.

“I don’t think so.”

Rock Outclave – Concan, TX

The roles we play in the worlds we create. How they are different from interaction to interaction. In one circle you can be the intellectual. In another the jester. Then the husband. The child. The friend. The enemy. The lover. The compassionate. The naïve. The wise. The crazy. Your true role and spirit will always shine through. The faces we place are for survival.

Always be yourself. You are beautiful.

Lost Maples Café – Utopia, TX

“How was the Patty Melt?”

“Not very good.”

“It cured heroin.”

“Must have been a weak addiction.”

“I could see myself here.”

“In Utopia?”

“Here, like everywhere. I want to do this. I think I am this.”

“It’s a beautiful thing to be.”

“Can you be something without being anything?”

“When I get that answer, I’ll let you know.”

“Maybe the next trip?”

“Maybe the next trip.”

For further information concerning anything that you have learned here today; please, send express written consent to William.spadaro@asu.edu and I can happily provide additional information. Thank you and Schweaty Ball Towel on.

Just below these characters is a link to a fantastic video for a beautiful song. This song was played at least once while the above trip was being enjoyed. Very fitting for everything that is life. It is filmed entirely in Austin and will make you smile. Hopefully! :)

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid24278846001?bctid=82322677001