Energy

(Yes, that is the original Rabbit)

An Evening in September of 2009.

I am in a good mood.

On the occasion when this happens, it makes writing difficult. I have made a career, yes, I said career, out of writing about my misery. I am so trite when I write that but it is true. Everything that I have ever really wrote, was created for some negative reason. But, today it will be different. Today I will write happy.

A bar is a bar. It is an establishment that people go to in order to be social or be drunk. Those are the two reasons I go to these places and I found myself there when this occurred. The only different is that I was not there to be social or drunk; I was there to play chess. I am an avid chess player and anyone that knows the game, knows that it is a mirror of life.

I love to listen to Bright Eyes. He is a very melodramatic writer that can match my thoughts perfectly when I am melancholy. This caused me to think about how important music is in our lives. It is the soundtrack of everyone of my memories. I always have my music on and it feels like it becomes my conscious. Therefore, when I am listening to Bright Eyes rattle through an emotional rant about his broken heart, I see everything with a depressing tint.

Chess is this mirror as it is a game that is strictly logic. It is a game that I win when I am focused, calm and smart. The problem is that all three of these elements rarely mesh and therefore my game can be very random. Chess is easier than living as it is even. When I start a chess game, I have the same amount of pieces as my competitor and it is always a clean slate. Life is not that fair sometimes.

When I listen to Vampire Weekend, I am happy no matter the circumstance. I can flip on Odelay by Beck and just start dancing. I think that I control my mood each morning by the music that I play. Everything in this world can be cruel or magnificent. It is up to my interpretation and within that logic do I want to be happy or mad? Am I a masochist if I enjoy feeling depressed?

The chess session I am speaking of occurred at Rabbit’s. It is literally a hole in the wall. I sat with my friend Rob outside on a picnic table. The establishment consisted of a room with a bar and television. While seated outside, there was no need to enter as a window like that of a fast food restaurant faced the picnic style seating area to allow for easy beer and alcohol orders. Any who, this was my first time at this locale. I sat with Rob; we played chess, discussed philosophy and drank Shiner.

It is always better to feel pain than to never feel anything. Well, that is up for debate as when a bottom is hit and depression takes over it is awful. But, without that struggle you do not get the highs of your life. I do not get the feeling of pure joy that I do this afternoon. A goal of this whole living thing is to always have a short term memory. Never get too down about what has happened. Never get to anxious for the challenges on the horizon. Build the courage to attack the moment in front of you. Never simply wait. Patience is important, but waiting without growth causes a loss of contact with the world around you.

The games went back and forth. It is interesting as Rob and I are very similar in terms of playing chess. The more that we talk and understand the make up of the other, the more that I realize that we have much in common away from the chessboard. It is a connection that is strange, but one that makes sense. If chess is a mirror of your life, when you play someone that plays in the same way that you do. When you slowly start to understand what that means to your game, you slowly understand how the other persons mind works in the same way that mine does.

So, I am happy. This is difficult as when I find myself happy, everything is a joke. I think the greatest works of comedy are the people who take the most depressing situation and shed some positive light onto it. When I was in school at ASU, a famous playwright visited with the class. It was a very troubling day for me as a few hours earlier a break had occurred. What I heard from that playwright that day; changed my outlook.

He said that everything in this world is energy. Everything that we touch and think about has an energy field. It is up to us to decide how that energy will be used. If it is negative, you can switch it to be positive. If it is positive, work to keep it that way. Once something switches, it is not gone forever. It simply needs to be nurtured back to the way you want it. Everyone in this world is a good person, some actions are bad, some emotions are spiteful, but deep down we always try our hardest and have good hearts.

I will leave this post with the thought that we have mirrors everyday. These mirrors are different depending on what we enjoy to do. For me, it is chess. It is a mirror as when I am settled, my game is strong. When I am lost, my game is lost. Find the things and the people that make you settled. Continue to be positive and keep the energies level.

Moral: Go to Rabbit’s just to experience it. Play chess as it is so very calming and challenging. Step back and look at your life as a comedy; the negativity will shed itself and you will be left to laugh and be positive. Lastly, dance more!